Friday, October 29, 2004
Him again
I do not know what is up with me and The Boy these days. He called me really early yesterday (5.30pm) to see if we were still going to catch the Hot Snakes show at the Casbah. We had planned to go when we were out on Sunday, but I hadn’t spoken to him since then. So I told him that I still wanted to go, but I had a multitude of things to do before we left. That was fine as things at the Casbah start late. So I told him I’d pick him up around 10 and that I would call him before I left the house.
I did all the things I needed to do - went to the gym, had dinner, baked brownies and cookies and got ready to go. And while I was getting ready to go, he called me again. Huh? Twice in one night? He *never* does that.
I go pick him up and he’s wearing the House of Blues beanie that I gave him. Cute. I brought him some of the cookies that I made and he was stoked about that. So we head to the Lamp for our pre-show cocktails. (Red Headed Sluts, then a JD/Coke for him and a Strawberry Cosmo for me.) And, lo and behold, Boytoy was there with girls. Funny. Because I didn’t call him because we weren’t staying and he didn’t call me because he was with girls. So we ended up hanging out with Thursday regulars, Pat and Chuck. Pat always goes to a movie on Thursdays and then meets Chuck at the Lamp. They have been married forever and are guaranteed to be there on Thursday to show me pix of their grandchildren. So Pat talked to me and the Boy for quite a bit. (More about that later...)
After our round of drinks, we headed to the Casbah. We got there and it was sold out. Damn. The Boy works with Reis aka Swami of the Hot Snakes, so he tried to call him to see if he was around to get us in. No dice. Bummer. But you know what that means....back to the Lamp.
So we get back to the Lamp and hang out for a couple more rounds. Russ was there and we had a shot with him. And I got to sing. And The Boy and I got to talk more and what have you. I guess "what have you" entails a bunch of touchy feely stuff and back scratching and me sharing my lip gloss that tastes like fruity stripe gum.
But the whole time this is happening, I am having inner dialogue because everyone that really knows me at the Lamp has been seeing me with The Boy. And until I set them straight, they think that he's who I am going out with. Pat asked me how long we've been together and I was like "What?". Once I explained, she told me that I should date him. Ha. Tommy said something about me and The Boy on Sunday. That tripped me out because he sees me in there with guys all the time and never assumes these dudes are my boyfriend. Even Boytoy was all in my grill about it. And I don't want to tell The Boy any of this because I have no idea how he'll react.
I'm trying not to be a head case about me and The Boy, but it's hard right now. We've been really good friends for such a long time. We built our relationship on the phone before we even met, and once we met, it was like we were instantly good friends. But it hasn't been all roses with him either. We fight about stuff and he has *really* pissed me off more than a few times. That being said, I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love him. And I hold back because I know that I need him in my life and I don't trust myself not to fuck it all up with him.
How's that for being complicated? My normal reaction to all of this would be to back off and let it get back to our normal phone convos and seeing him every once in awhile instead of every few days. But that's lame. I like being with him. I have fun with him.
Oh hell. Last night was a full moon. Maybe that explains everything. Right.
« rawk off
